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Sometimes I feel that it's so hard to praise God for whatever He has given me becos I m embarrassed to say it in front of others. Like it's a little awkward to say it's by God's grace and mercy that I achieved something. But deep down I know that it's really by His grace and mercy that I have what I have now. For my results, I m sure there are people who mug more than me but God just blessed me so much. My sec 2 percentage was 66% and my sec 3 results was 80%!! and I got 2nd in class!!! I didn't even think that it was possible to get >70% in NY when I was sec 2 la. For judo, I got into the national team when I never even play in national schools finals before. It's really God's grace that I could achieve so much. I couldnt have done it by myself. But everytime when people start commenting like my results and judo damn good I don't know how to respond, like I can't say it out of my mouth that it's God who blessed me w so much. Slowly sometimes I get tempted to think that it's by my hard work that I got so far. I get so proud of myself that I m disgusted. And I just took God's glory as my own. But recently I got reminded again that it's really God who gives and it's not by my own effort that I do well. BT1 results really hit me damn hard. My results are like Sai and I feel so stupid. I feel like my memory is failing me and I just feel like I can't make it for As. My judo also like sai like that. I feel so lousy abt myself becos I used to be able to do well in both of them. But this reminded me that my talents arent really mine, it's God who gave me everything. I m supposed to use them for His glory but I just got so selfish and prideful and make them my glory. Plus during competition today I was so tired and bloated, my arms totally got no strength at all. If God didn't help me I might not even win my juniors. But when I won, I didn't even say it's God who gave it to me. Instead i just say I only fought two bouts and both bouts are with juniors. WHYWHYWHY ): I really want to give God His glory. I willwillwillwill praise God for every good thing He blesses me with, even when its awkward cos He deserves all the glory and honor! Also even though my results are Cui, i will still praise Him cos I know God is faithful and He has a plan for me. And I know God is good all the time even in times of trouble He is still a good God. I just need to trust Him and do my best so that people will see God's power and grace thru me.
PRAISE GOD COS HE IS GOOD AND COS HIS LOVE ENDURES 4EVA AND EVA.
(actually I feel that life is really tough, but I guess it would be much much much harder without God. Really thank God for saving me and loving me, even though I m so undeserving. ) (and sorry my English sucks but I don't care becos i just need to praise God for whatever He has done)
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